Fictitious Family

by Norma Córdova

My father was diagnosed with early-onset Alzheimers in 1997, and after a long struggle with dementia, passed away in 2007. The intervening ten years were the most difficult years of my life. It profoundly changed the dynamics of my family, and my own personal trajectory, especially as Alzheimers can carry a stigma in Mexican communities.

Somewhere in those ten years, I picked up a camera and began to develop my craft. Over time, when I had enough emotional distance, I realized that I needed to express some unprocessed feelings, some induced by my family's response to my dad's illness, and others simply due to the dissonance that comes from growing up as the daughter of immigrants. Executing this project has become a mindful meditative act, even while remaining instinctual. I fear (well-founded or not) that I may have a genetic disposition to my dad's disease. It makes me realize the need to tell my brain that there is a different narrative, and to rethink my own train of thought.

My family photographs served as re-found memories, and reinterpreting the photos became a mental pilgrimage. It unintentionally resulted in an interpretation that could apply to anyone’s family. The imagery allows room for viewers to relate to the imagery on their own terms. The red dots are a layered symbol of the genetic interference that we all potentially have due to our own genetic make-up, but also of my family's inability to speak freely and deal with the tragedy of my dad's condition. Denial was my family's primary response. They denied the truth and isolated themselves until their denials were plainly untenable. The grid with all the red dots on the photo is my first-grade class photo. In this photo, everyone has a red dot on their face, the implication is that everyone has their own personal untold story to share or unravel. I used contrasting colors of red and blue, blue being a soothing and calming color and red being an antagonizing color. The dots bring awareness and attention to the uncertain futures encoded in our genes. The yellow comes from expired chromogenic photo paper and symbolizes a nostalgic period in my life. The use of these specific colors added the necessary layer to help express the internal and the visual inquietudes. Humans are complicated beings, so I added additional layers to my existing family photographs.

Telling my story became a simple, yet a complicated cathartic act. This project has allowed me to revisit my childhood, attempting to see if I could find something that our family might have overlooked. The mere fact that my father could no longer explain or share his perspective anymore pushed this project forward. I wanted to communicate my own personal experiences, and now I have a need to share them, both to express my feelings, but also to help raise awareness and fight the stigma of Alzheimers. 

About the artist

Córdova was born and raised in Oregon, by hard-working Mexican immigrant parents. She initially trained and practiced as a hairstylist before becoming fascinated with the world of photography and filmmaking. Córdova has exhibited her work nationally and internationally. She has been a finalist in Photolucida’s Critical Mass, made the Critical Mass Top 50 in 2020, and the Top 40 Analog Images of 2019 in Analog Forever Zine. She’s been published in Vice, Lenscratch, PDN, and others. And when not in the darkroom or filmmaking, you’ll find her interpreting for the Lawyer’s Committee for Civil Rights.

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From the Editor

Hello readers, thanks for spending some time with us in celebration of Córdova’s Fictitious Family. I met Córdova at Photolucida in 2019 and was able to see the loveliness of her work in person. Her personal storytelling is rich with process and lends to a portfolio that is not only thought-provoking for the viewer but also a form of personal therapy.

Everything Córdova touches is well thought out, designed, and produced. This attention to detail makes her already important work feel all the more successful.

I’m in love with Córdova’s work beyond this portfolio so please visit her website and check out all the portfolios. And don’t forget to put her on your ones to watch list!

–Blue Mitchell @onetwelveprojects